Paranoia
by Agatha-Naomi
Summary: Lan Fan seems fine now that they are back in Xing, but surely Fu's death and her new automail arm are causing her pain? Ling just can't sleep at night because he's so worried about her. Will he be able to offer her comfort or will her pride as a warrior prevent her from letting him see her in pain? Oneshot


Paranoia

AN: This has been floating in my head for awhile. More LingFan fluff! XD

His new position as leader of Xing and his eternal hungriness for free food did nothing to distract him from Lan Fan's troubles, even if she did put up a brave front.

The death of Fu (which had troubled them both greatly) had resulted in one of the best funerals a prince had ever thrown for someone serving underneath him. Fu had been a wise older father to both of them. His father was always too busy with his harem, and Lan Fan; well who ever heard her ever speak of a loving mother, or a devoted father? For all he knew they had never even come up in passing word.

Still, she had remained silent during the proceedings, no doubt because it was somehow dishonorable for a warrior to cry over another warrior, especially if he had died for the greater good like Fu had. Still, there was an even more frightening thought. What if she hadn't cried at the funeral because she was thinking about him? He was above her in social standing, her clan lived and died for his clan after all.

Was he the one that didn't allow her the privilege to grieve Fu's death? Was she holding it all in, was she crying be herself on those nights when other guards watched him sleep? Was she all by herself in her pain? Could she not grieve while serving him?

These are the thoughts that make him watch her out of the corner of his eye when they walk through the palace. He searches her eyes under her mask for clues to her condition. He loses sleep at night wondering how she is.

Even if Fu were still alive and well, she still had plenty to deal with. He had been taken over by Greed, willingly of course, but still, was she okay with that decision of his? He was okay with his decision of course, otherwise he wouldn't have made it. It would seem that her opinion mattered more to him than he felt comfortable with. And what of the things they had seen in Amestris? The government corrupted to the core and all the way to the top, the strange spells they employed…. Had it troubled her like it had him? He had pondered several times about his own country. He had known Xing was corrupt in some ways, but after seeing Fullmetal's country, well there were hellish possibilities he had not considered. If it could happen there….

His first order of business as king had been to tighten security within his ranks and army, to dig deeper into the motives of his servants than maybe really necessary. He wondered why exactly it was that fear canceled out his wishes to protect individual privacy. It was a relief when his fears turned out to be no more than paranoia and an embarrassment as well.

And even if Lan Fan wasn't afraid for their country like he was, what of her arm? She had cut it off to spare his life. The way she had cried out when that doctor bandaged her up, before the fight with Gluttony… it still haunted him and he realized it most likely always would. He had asked Edward more about the automail surgery, and while the short blonde had been uncharacteristically choice about his words, he could gather that in the very least it was a horribly painful procedure. She had done it so quickly too, gone right back to fighting, and even used it to try to save him, right after seeing her grandfather murdered…..

How can he repay such an act? How can she look composed as usual when she carries out her duties? Is she simply that strong, or is she ready to break? He doesn't realize how much his worries for her are affecting him until she mentions that he hasn't been sleeping as much as he should be.

Ling just isn't really sure to what say other than that he had been concerned for her. Now here he is a few hours later, remembering the shock in her eyes behind the stupid mask, and how he wishes she would believe that he really does care for the people under him. No matter how powerful he is, he cares for his guards and servents.

Especially her. He will always be thinking of Lan Fan's wellbeing. He simply can't change that. A loyalty like hers, even if it is her duty, is just too amazing to not be mutual.

It is her turn to watch over him tonight. It was strange to have guards there when he slept, but as a radical new emperor, he faced more threats than ever. Still he had grown almost used to having someone there, and if it was Lan Fan he was even more comforted. Why on earth did this girl have such a hold on him?

She arrived quietly, saw him awake and greeted him politely. He was done with the politeness and the formality. She really didn't think she mattered to him? Did she know how much time he spent worrying about her? He does not think or plan, but he does grab her by the hips as she bows and yanks her into his arms. Her mask even falls off. Hell, she evens squeaks in surprise.

She stutters out questions, apologies, but he shakes his head because even he can not explain his strange behavior. Eventually she settles down and timidly puts her arms around his neck. The flesh one is incredibly warm and the newer one is cold against his bare shoulders. He just needs to know that he can offer her comfort because even if she is as fine as she seems, he suspects she's been putting on a brave front.

Her worst fears are confirmed when she starts to cry, but at least now he knows for sure that he isn't being paranoid like when he investigated his military. Lan Fan makes almost no sound but she cries a long time. She feels very real in his hold, her arm is so cold, and her tears so wet, and her form so small.

Finally she separates from him, scrubs under her eyes with the back of hand and blushing madly and still crying a bit, shoves her mask back on.

Ling crawls into bed and sleeps well for the first time in weeks.


End file.
